Vibrating toys - revisited

Well, as the razor experiment continues, I'm beginning to think that my initial idea was right - the vibratin grazor *is* nothing but a gimmick. In fact, I think I'd go as far as to say it doesn't shave as well as the non-vibrating version.

Why is this? My idea, is that the vibration of the razor makes it move away from the skin, so that you don't get quite as close a shave. I may be biased, especially since I have a problem with the ridiculous way razor manufacturers (Gilette in particular) are constantly bringing out new products. I find it unlikely that five years ago, or ten years ago, men wandered around in some kind of semi-shaven state, unable to interest women because of the rough feel of their skin.

The best razor I ever used was a Wilkinson Sword one. I can't remember what it was called, I think it may have been a "Diamond". It had two blades, the lubrication strip, etc, and worked beautifully, giving me a fantastically clean shave even after using it several times.

When the "Razor Wars" started in earnest, Wilkinson Sword brought out a new razor, called a "Protector". It was just the same as the one I had, except that it had thin wires laying across the blades at right angles to them - the idea was that they would stop you from cutting yourself. In practice, though, they stopped the blades from getting quite as close to the skin, so it didn't shave you as well as the old model. They stopped making the old blades in the end, too.

All this just made me wonder (Sex And The City Moment here) are we now more interested in marketing gimmicks than in whether the product works well? The blades on my "Diamond" worked well, and that's what the razor should be about, not whether or not it seems "cool".

So if anyone would like a very small, battery-operated vibrating thing, for whatever purpose, let me know - I don't think I'll be shaving with it any more.

City Living 2

You wait for the bus,
Standing there till it arrives.
It never comes. Hah!

Vibrating toys for girls and boys

I was using my new, super-whizzy (supposedly) razor today - it's a disposable-blade type wet razor, with the added "kink" that it takes batteries. You may be wondering, 'Why does a razor vibrate? What good could that do?' - I know I wondered, so I thought I'd get one and try it.

The adverts tell you that the "power of electricity" or some other silly thing is meant to help you get a closer shave. How does it do this? The ads don't say. My best guess was that it would pass a small current through your skin, to make the hairs stand up more so you shave better. It doesn't.

This razor vibrates.

That's right. The amazing technological invention this NEW razor brings is that it buzzes and vibrates like some kind of discount sex-toy. Don't get me wrong, it shaves well, although the razor blades are *exactly* the same as my previous model razor. Maybe it does shave better - I suppose the vibrating thing will help it wiggle onto all those hard-to-shave hairs - you know, the ones that the All-New-All-Singing-All-Dancing Greatly-Improved-Over-The Old-Greatly-Improved Razor were supposed to shave right off.

Plus, the new blades are (I think) more expensive than the old blades, even though they're the same. Well, that's not entirely fair - the new blades are a different colour.

I mean, guys *love* gadgets. That's how they sell us all these new razors. They make you more attractive to women - your current partner will love you more, and drag you to bed at the slightest opportunity. In the street, women's heads will turn and they will fall over (frequently showing delightfully smooth legs as shaved by the female linked product, no doubt). Your life will be more exciting, all your friends will cheer as you score that much-needed goal in your football match, and your newborn baby will smile as it snuggles up to Daddy's lovely new smooth chin.

I don't have a partner, women don't fall over in the streets looking at me, I rarely play football (I'm rubbish at it), and I don't have a baby, although maybe one of those women that fall over might like to help me with that one. So why do I need a new razor? I always used to shave ok.

Maybe you're better off just buying lots of batteries and passing the new razor to your girlfriend (minus the blades, obviously) whilst she falls over looking at some guy who *does* use the new model.

Night Rhythms

It's funny, but when you stay up through the night you see the world in a different way. Everything takes on a new slant: the radio gets friendlier, the DJ relaxing his or her style to suit the less frantic audience; traffic drops down to virtually nothing, the normal hustle of workday transport replaced with quieter, happier journeys as couples come home and new friends go to cement their new friendships; and thanks to the joy of modern communications and caller id, phone calls are a welcome event, a friend or a loved one calling to see how you are, and brighten up your evening.

Nobody calls to sell you double-glazing at 4am. I like that.

City Living

Staring at the clouds
A gap appears, and sunshine
Falls on someone else.

Stew the White Rabbit

"Here I am, this is my blog, I thought I'd give it a try and do what everyone else is doing. The world needs more of those." I don't think I'll write one of those - I want to assert my individuality along with the others who are different like me.

So, I'll have to talk about something else instead. Maybe a lack of inspiration - it's amazing how far you can pad something out just talking about how little you have to say for yourself. The internet's getting too big, and it's hard to see where it all ends.

Before it goes too much further, this is your chance to take the blue pill and go back to your normal life; if you prefer, you can descend into the twisted rabbitholes of my slightly slanted outlook on life, and find out whether it really is possible to see right through my empty head right down to the end of my GI-tract.

Maybe we should have empty heads - thoughts are much too important to leave sitting around inside, so why not let them out and share them with the world. For me, this has two benefits: I can make myself feel important, thanks to the specious legitimacy of my mutterings existing semi-permanently on a website; and also that people will see my ideas, and can tell me if they like them.

This is really just me making myself feel important again.

I didn't say that my thoughts are important - just that deep thoughts in the abstract are important. I think so, and that is my thought for today.